Sunday 14th November 2010


Droogies, it's with a heavy heart and a bursting pancreas that I have to tell you that I'm selling one of my special treasures, the original artwork of page 1 from issue 1 of the greatest comic novel ever published, Watchmen.

It's currently for sale at Heritage Auctions, in Dallas, Texas and will be sold this coming Friday 19th of November. If you have more money than you know what to do with, this is an investment that you'll only ever make profit out of!!!!

Click here to go to the Watchmen auction

The reason I'm selling is that sadly several of my illegitimate offspring have caught up with me and are threatening to go to the papers accusing me of being a bad father who takes drugs, drinks to excess and, in the past, would fuck anything that smelt of wet minge!

Lies! Lies! Lies! But what can I do?

So I present to you now how that hallowed page became part of my life.

Sometime in late 1987 I was walking an absolutely horrendous hangover off on my way to work at Kerrang!, which meant that I was stumbling, mumbling and tumbling through Covent Garden.

However, as I was passing the shop 'Comic Showcase', where I had originally bought my Watchmen comics, I noticed a poster in the window proclaiming 'ORIGINAL WATCHMEN ARTWORK FOR SALE'. I then noticed the owner, Paul Hudson, putting up a smaller poster on the door window saying exactly the same.

My hangover cure was immediate!

This was the moment that I'd been waiting for all my life!

I strode like a man on a mission up to the door, pushed it open, almost flooring Paul and asked "Where's the Watchmen pages??"

Paul pointed to a person at the back of the shop who was picking up a portfolio and informed me "That man down there's looking at them."

I was like a Pavlov greyhound out of a trap, followed closely by Paul who was asking me "Is there any particular page you're interested in?"

No sooner than the words were out of his mouth and the man with the portfolio had finished unzipping it, he opened it and as he did I saw a vision of beauty, the Golden Grail, page 1, issue 1 and I pointed to it and said, "YES - THAT ONE!"

And that's how I got the page.

I shouldn't mention this because it breaks my heart and I have no doubt that I'll probably break out in boils tomorrow, but I bought another 9 pages, including pages 24 through to 28 from issue 9 and I've sold them all for peanuts.

The reasons for selling are as follows;

1: The bastards!

2: After 33 years of living in my council flat on the 15th floor of what I lovingly refer to as 'Terror Tower', the council have decided that because they've let it run into such a state of disrepair during the last ten years by spending an absolute minimum of their budget keeping it to what the government refers to as 'decent homes standard', it's now deemed uninhabitable for the amount of repairs needed, so the council have to re-house us, and then, no doubt, will sell it off to a private buyer who will have a gold mine on his hands.

So I have no choice but to find another place to live, and not forgetting that I was assaulted by a gang of feral youths a month and a half ago, losing a front tooth and my glasses and gaining a body of bruises and pain. I want to get out of London.

Someone once said, probably Oscar Wilde, "When a man tires of London he's tired of life."

Personally speaking, "When a man tires of London he wants to save his life."

3: With a move out of London I can hopefully move somewhere closer to Ma Krusher who is now in her 80s and although her mind is sharp as a razor, sadly her body is starting to show signs of wear and tear, so it would give me peace of mind being close if ever she needed help.

4: Finally, I want to clear my stinking debts and self finance a series of posters and prints that include original artwork from my Ozzy and Black Sabbath covers where I won't be ripped off by the music industry.

As Hunter S. Thompson once said - "The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side."

As I once said - "The music industry will suck the marrow out of your bones, the bone out of your cock and your soul from your body. That's because they're a bunch of foookin' lying, two faced, cheating, stealing, money grabbing, egotistical pieces of shit straight from the arse of an arsechicken! There is NO positive side!?"

Click here to go to the Watchmen auction

Here's some images of the artwork. Click the images for larger versions;

watchmen   watchmen





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